Chapter 32 - Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You

Kwan was sound asleep in bed but Fei laid awake thinking about the evening that just went by. He turned to look at his wife and smiled as he caressed her face.  When she continued to sleep soundly, he got out of bed.   It was almost 4 am when he left their apartment.  After driving around the nearby market place for about 15 minutes, he decided to head over to the familiar building where home was before he got married to Kwan and left for America to start their new life as husband and wife five months ago.  He looked up and saw the light was still on from the living room and decided to make a call to the person living there.  He didn’t know she was asleep on the sofa.

While he was in the elevator on his way up to the apartment, he kept remembering the image of Chin Chin walking out of the banquet room when the announcement of their baby was made.  However, he was deeply troubled by the sad expression on her face; it looked as if she was almost in tears upon hearing their good news.  Upon reaching the unit, he pounded as hard as he could on the door without waking up the neighbours.

Chin Chin finally woke and headed to the door.   “Fei?!  Is something wrong?!  Why are you here at this hour of the night?”  She looked at the clock on the wall.  “Um…morning?”

He looked at Chin Chin’s sleepy eyes.  “Sorry!  Your light was on!”  He entered the apartment and went straight to the kitchen to grab a drink.

Chin Chin locked the door and joined him in the kitchen.  “You came all the way here to have a drink of water?  Did you forget to wash your glasses at home?!”
Fei ignored her comment and sat down at the dining table.  “You have not congratulated me on being a father yet.”

“You came here to ask for my congratulations?!” Chin Chin shook her head and sat down opposite from him.  “Well then, congratulations!”

Fei gave her an imploring look.  “Why were you sad about the news?  I saw you walking out the restaurant when you heard the news.”

Knowing how observant he was, it didn’t come as a surprise to her.  But she decided to act shocked in a dramatic way.  “Wow, you really are an FBI agent!  You could even tell I was sad.  Were you able to tell I had a full bladder too?!”

“It doesn’t take an FBI agent to see your sadness, a friend can tell.”  Fei wouldn’t let her side track the subject.  “So are you not happy I’m going to be a father?”

“I … I was just surprised you and Kwan wanted children so soon.”  Chin Chin finally let on. She tried to smile but it was faint.  “I remembered we talked about children.  You said you wanted to wait till you were 35.”

He didn’t see fit to tell her Kwan’s pregnancy was unplanned, it was not a need to know issue.

When he didn’t say anything, Chin Chin smiled.  “See, this proves you really love Kwan!  And for that, I’m glad you listened to me.”  Chin Chin’s mood for talking warmed up.  “Besides, I wouldn’t be able to give you a child.”

That statement came as a shock to Fei.  He wished his wife, the psychologist, was here to continue the conversation.  Not knowing how to respond, he said nothing.  But his eyes remained on her and she took it as a sign to continue.

“When I was with Cheng Dong Shing, I got pregnant.”  Chin Chin started after taking a deep breath.  “I had a miscarriage and went to an unregistered physician.  After that, my thyroid problems started, that was how I started giving him Synthroid medication to keep his hand shaking so he couldn’t aim with his gun.”

“Did Cheng Dong Shing know about the baby back then?”

Chin Chin shook her head.  “No.  I never told him.”  There was a sense of regret in her voice.  “Maybe if we had the baby, he would be a different man today.  Maybe we would be living in Venezuela now.”

Fei wondered if Cheng Dong Shing would have been a different man.  He believed Cheng Dong Shing did love Chin Chin.  Then Fei thought about his own ordeal.  “Yeah, having a child tends to wake something up in us, men.”

“Maybe he would have focused more of his energy on being a father then on seeking revenge.” Chin Chin sighed.

“That’s something only he can change.  He’s no longer your concern now.”  Fei returned to reality.  “So what makes you think you can’t have children in the future?  You are still young.”

Chin Chin looked into his understanding eyes and forced a smile through.  “When I was rescued, the doctor at the hospital did a thorough exam on me and told me it is unlikely that I will ever bear children.  The unregistered doctor did a lot of damage.”

Fei tried to read between the lines to determine why she was sad to hear the news about his upcoming fatherhood.  “Why didn’t you tell me this before?  Is that why you kept pushing me away and encouraged me to get back with Kwan?  Because you thought you couldn’t give me babies?”

Chin Chin gave him that helpless maiden-in-need-of-rescue look and said.  “If I say yes, will you feel sorry for me and come back to me without letting Kwan know?”

He did not hesitate to give his answer.
Kwan woke up at about 4:30 am and found her husband gone from the apartment.  She called his cell phone but got a message.  ‘The person you are trying to reach is unable to answer your call right now…..’  After hearing the same woman’s voice 3 times, she got irritated and pressed the end button really hard.  She wanted to strangle the phone as if it was the woman who kept repeating the same message to her.  However, the person she really wanted to strangle at that moment was her husband, because he wasn’t there to cater to her needs.  She had a peculiar hunger that could only be satisfied by her husband and the voice of the woman on the phone was stopping her from reaching him.

Fei was walking towards the open market in the early hours of the morning when his cell phone rang.  He thought maybe his wife was calling, but he was definitely not expecting this caller just a few minutes after leaving her apartment.  “Chin Chin?  What is it?” 

“You left your wallet here.”

Fei felt his back pocket.  “Indeed I did.  I’ll come and get it now.”

“Where are you?”

“Just reached Congee King,” Fei said.  “Good thing you called.  I was just about to place my order.”

“Wait for me there.  I’ll come down now.  I feel like some congee as well.”  Chin Chin placed her phone down and headed out the door with Fei’s wallet.

Half an hour later, Kwan and her unborn baby developed a hunger for Asian style breakfast.  So she got changed and came down to the street and caught a taxi in the early morning hours.  She told the taxi driver the address of her husband’s old home.  From there she was able to direct the driver to the open market.  This was the only place she knew was open during the early morning hours.  She remembered because Fei brought her there before.  After paying the taxi driver, she alighted and watched Fei helping someone into his car from across the street.  She wasted no time to cross the street and approached them.

“Fei!”  Kwan finally saw Chin Chin in the front passenger seat.  “Chin Chin?!”

Surprised and fearful, Chin Chin tried to get out of the car.  “Don’t hit me, Kwan!  I know pregnant women can get really mean and possessive!”

“Kwan, what are you doing here?!”  Fei blurted out in surprise at the same time.

Kwan looked at Fei and then turned to look at Chin Chin who pointed to Fei.  “He came knocking on my door early this morning.”

The surprised Fei held up the plastic bags that were in his hand.  “I came to buy these for you!”  Kwan took one of the bags and looked inside, her eyes grew wide when she saw and smelled the freshly fried Chinese Donuts next to the two containers of congee.

“I know you are Tsui Fei and not the famous General Yue Fei.” Chin Chin looked at Fei, “But you’ve better take your wife home now.  In case something happens to you, I don’t want to become a new version for the legend of the Deep-Fried Chinese Donut!”

Fei knew the name of the Chinese donuts literally translated to “oil fried ghosts”. The legend was that the two strips of dough combined represented the man, Qin Hui and his wife who plotted to kill the revered General Yue Fei. To punish the couple’s behaviour, people in China fried these strips of dough in hot oil and that was why to date, the Chinese call it “Oil Fried Ghosts” in Cantonese.  Fei couldn’t imagine his wife would deep fry Chin Chin alive.  Or could he?

Chin Chin was about to alight from the car.  “I can walk home from here.” 

“No, you won’t!”  Kwan looked up from the plastic bag and stopped Chin Chin by gently pushing her back into the seat and closing the passenger front door.  She looked at Fei as she got into the back seat and commanded.  “Let’s go!”

An hour later, inside the elevator, Fei purposely cornered Kwan so she had nowhere else to turn.  Then he let his Mona Lisa smile escaped his lips and asked her directly.  “Are you seriously not mad at me at all or are you so mad that you are planning to torture me when we get home?”

Kwan no longer looked hungry but had the look of complete satisfaction for what she just ate for breakfast at Chin Chin’s place.  She gave him a devious smirk.  “Should I be mad?”

“No.  My purpose for going there was to buy us congee for breakfast.  But when I drove by the place, I noticed her lights were on.”  Fei pressed closer against her body and placed his lips on hers.  When the elevator sounded its ‘ding’, they both alighted hand in hand.  Because it was still the early hours of the morning, they remained quiet until they got into their apartment.  After he closed and locked the door of their home, he pulled her into his arms again.

“You know how we never had our wedding dance?”

“Uh-huh.”  She nodded.
Fei sat her down on the arm chair.  “Stay right here!”  Then he went to the entertainment cabinet and searched through a drawer of cassette tapes and found the one he was looking for.  He walked to the sofa and gave it to Kwan.

“It’s brand new!  Do they still sell cassette tapes in the new millennium?!”  Kwan asked while looking at the album cover picture of Glen Medeiros from 1987.

Fei kneeled in front of her.  “I bought his Single when I was 16 because I really liked this song.”

She looked at the cassette again. “Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love for You.”  Kwan looked into her husband’s mesmerizing eyes.  Then her face turned playfully sour and she tossed the cassette back to him as if it was a piece of contaminated item.  “Did you buy this for that older woman who died of cancer? The one you fell madly in love with.  Your first love?” 

Fei let out a smile of resignation because he knew she was teasing him about the time when he made up that silly story of falling madly in love with a much older woman who eventually died a pitiful death.  He recalled that incident made her really angry at him and his job was on the line and at the mercy of her hand.

“No, I bought two of these.  One I played so much that the tape eventually got worn out.  I saved this one hoping one day to give it to someone special in my life.  I forgot about it until we moved here.  I found it when I was unpacking the other day.”  He placed the new cassette back in her hands again.  “You are that person.  Now open it so we can have our dance.”

After he placed the new cassette tape in the player to play, he came back to the sofa and pulled his wife up into his arms.  As they danced, he sang gently into her ears.  “You ought to know by now that nothing’s going to change my love for you.”

“Do you like this song?”  He asked her.

“Yes, it’s a beautiful song.”  She smiled.

He showered her with soft gentle kisses and said.  “Somehow, you have a way to turn me back into a teenager whenever I’m with you.  Don’t ever change that.”

“Nothing is going to change my love for you either.”  She pinched his nose.  “Even if you got abducted by aliens and got brain washed and don’t know who I am, I’ll still love you!”

“Promise?”  He stuck out his pinky.  She hooked her pinky to his and promised him.

Then she smiled coyly at him.  “You know how I was hungry just now for food?  Right now I have this peculiar hunger that only you can satisfy.”  He was more than happy to oblige.

Nothing’s Gonna Change my Love for You – by Glenn Medeiros